I was going to write something deep and theological for this post. I was going to wow you with all my learning and stuff.
But I can’t, y’all. I just can’t.
I am currently working off of 2½ hours of sleep. Why, you ask? Because of The Super Big and Important Project that was DUE TODAY.
I woke up this morning at 6:35, and it took me all of five minutes for me to realize that I had somewhere to be at 7.
The somewhere was prayer meeting. I forgot about prayer meeting. Go ahead; throw your stones.
I was absolutely frantic. I had no time for makeup. No time to make my top knot look more like messy chic and less like a mushroom cloud explosion of hair. Seriously, it’s a miracle that I made it out of the house with pants on.
So because of this, my mental capacity has been teetering precariously on the verge of total expiration due to The Super Big Important Project and I probably should avoid any and all things that require a deep thought process.
(It’s actually probably a bad idea for me to be participating in any sort of communication until I’ve had a nap. But hey, who needs reason right?)
So instead of deep and theological, I give you, ladies and gentlemen, the shallow and meaningless account of
Eight Marvelous Things I Saw on My Journey To and From County Road Eight
Some of you know that I work for a local State Farm agent taking pictures for insurance claims. For those of you who didn’t know…now your life is complete. While out taking pictures yesterday, I saw some things that just tickled me to absolute pieces.
- A Hearse: The first house I stopped at was a sweet little one level building, tucked in behind a few pine trees. When I got out of the car, I saw the front end of a vehicle sticking out from behind the other end of the house. I walked to the back of house to get a better picture when I stopped short. That was not a car. It was a hearse. I. WAS. DONE. I had visions of being the new screaming protagonist in the next Stephen King novel. NO THANKS.
- Miss Patti’s Day Care Center: In case you didn’t already know, Florence is really Stars Hollow.
- The Dog From Because of Winn Dixie: There she was, just trotting down the road. I was star struck. It’s not everyday I come across a celebrity of that stature. But let me tell you, I have some shocking news. She’s still in the grocery store biz but has actually changed her stage name to Piggly Wiggly.
- A Chicken Who Had Run Away From Home: That’s right. Just a lone chicken, strutting his stuff, exploring the great, wide-open spaces. Why? Because this is America, where chickens are free to roam.
- The Fattest Basset Hound I’ve Ever Seen: Strolling prestigiously down his driveway, he might as well have been wearing a top hat and an eyeglass. I presumed he was just going to get his mail. Because I promise y’all, HE OWNED THAT HOUSE.
- Iron City International Airport: I’m just going to give you a visual on this one and let it be.
7. The Chicken Community That Was Missing a Sister: Fifty chickens in their little upside down, blue barrel houses, all looking around confused. Only the second time I passed this scene did I noticed the leashed, crazed-looking mountain dog, pacing back and forth amongst all those clucking, emotional females. Bless him.
And finally, my absolute favorite find from the whole day…
8. Hillbilly Dave’s Backwoods Recording Studio: My new single, “County Road 8,” will be landing soon. Be looking out, yo.
Okay, now I’m out of fun things to ramble about and the Dr. Quinn episode I was simultaneously watching has ended so, I think I’m done. Excuse me while I go sleep off my anxiety about Sully’s latest injury and try to subconsciously process all the drama happening “out west.”